Writing

April 8, 2024 - Teruhashi: The Perfect Pretty Girl (from Saiki K)

April 7, 2024 - Sick

March 18, 2024 - Randomizing Code (JS)

Sept 10, 2022 - Validation

Everyone talks about how to stop making art just for other people to see it, but I don’t know how to stop. Or how to tell if I am even doing it. Maybe I am doing this a little bit for validation, what do I do about it? I like showing people my work, but I think I would still make art if I didn’t.

I mean take writing for example, there are some parts of writing where it’s just a journal of my thoughts and I don’t want to share that at all, but sometimes I write because I had an epiphany, and I want to share it so everyone can see how smart I am and hopefully learn something. Is that wrong? I don’t think so?

But, then you have this website and social media, and I want people to like my work and comment or like or whatever, and I know it shouldn’t matter, but it’s not like I can control my feelings. Should I just leave? Stop posting? Or just keep reminding myself it doesn’t matter?

I don’t know. For now I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing and hope I figure it out with time.

(Sophia 2024- 2 years late and I still don't have a clue but I'm not sure it matters as long as you aren't doing things you don't like for other people (real or imaginary).)

Sept 9, 2022 - What You Taught Me

I am reading an article on why social media is bad and I am screaming.

You tell me not to sell myself on the internet. That to define myself is to stagnate and yet I went to a class where they taught us how to brand ourselves.

They taught us how to pick a color palette, make a logo, and choose who we are. Choose an interest, choose your clubs, but not too many or the colleges won't like you. Play an instrument, learn a language, do community service. List why people should like you, why you are valuable.

Everything in high school is for college. Your grades make your GPA, your tests lead up to the SAT, and you better be nice to your teachers because someone needs to write your recommendation letter. My dad can count on one hand the amount of times he had homework each year. I can count on one finger the amount of times I didn't.

They don't teach us how to sew, how to cook, how to clean, or how to live with ourselves. They teach us trig and isotopes because that makes you smart, because home economics isn't an AP class, because understanding how you work was a little too hard to put on a report card.

I feel like school raised me as livestock, and I'm just a lamb who's preparing to sell myself to the best slaughterhouse. Because no one ever taught me what to do after I leave college.

Jul 19, 2022 - Soulmate AU's

(Sophia 2024- I'm not as pasionate about this topic anymore but it's all still true. Soulmate AU's are just the least important thing to talk about in regards to amatonormativity.)

I read a lot of fanfiction, maybe a little too much if I'm being honest, but that's not what I'm here to talk about today. You see there are very few tropes I actively dislike, and those that I do I usually just don't read, but soulmate au's bother me for an actual substantial reason: they're very, very amatonormative.

"What's amatonormativity?" you might be asking. Well, amatonormativity is "the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship.". It's the songs you hear on the radio that are all about love, it's playing truth or dare where asking who you have a crush on is a standard question with a name expected in response, and it's especially in the belief that every person has the "one", someone who will fall from the heavens and magically complete you.

There is nothing more depressing than opening up a fanfiction about your favorite ship only to realize they're talking about a world where everyone has their soulmate, and suddenly you don't exist there anymore, or to read the scene just after they get together talking about how miserable and depressing it was before they came along. Now, there are some soulmate au's where there are friendship and family soulmates as well and multiple of them, but even these ones tend to frame romantic soulmates as rare and inherently more valuable. (Although I have read some decent batfam ones)

Even if we discard the amatonormativity, it's still a bit of icky framing. No relationship is perfect, and no one should feel like a relationship's value is based on lasting forever, or like they’d be nothing without a person in their life. But, I get it. Sometimes you don't want to read a super realistic romance. I love reading about perfect fairytale romances where people get together with some minor bumps along the road and stay together forever after. I just want people to remember that relationships aren't always going to be easy or last forever, but that doesn't make them any more or less valuable.

Anyways, this is less of a take action post and more of a just be aware post. Read soulmate au's if that’s what makes you happy just remember who it's erasing, and please, if you're writing one, include friendship and family bonds and multiple bonds as well, they can be just as cute and meaningful. Also, I'm aro, so that's the impact of amatonormativity I focused on, but it affects poly relationships just as much, and that should also be acknowledged.

Further discussion on it here.

Jul 13, 2022 - Rule of Thumb

A "rule of thumb" is defined as "a broadly accurate guide or principle, based on experience or practice rather than theory"*. I'm not sure if you've heard of the controversy over it as a phrase, or not, but if you scroll past the definition and wikipedia entry there's a field of people proudly debunking a pervasive myth: that "rule of thumb" came from an old British (or American) law where men were allowed to beat their wives if the rod or whip they used to do it was less than the width of their thumb.

Now, this is true, the myth is wrong*, but there's another myth about the myth, that the myth itself was started by feminists trying to get people mad about spousal abuse, and that's not true. "Rule of thumb" has been around for awhile, and although the history is very unclear, "rule of thumb" may have started as a rule for what was an acceptable beating. It was just never legally stated. In fact, a man who beat his wife tried to use this in court all the way back in 1868*.

Although, people blaming feminists for this myth is bad enough, a lot of people use this as an ended to the argument. Like, by proving these exact words weren't used, they can avoid addressing the actual laws and lawmakers that let spousal abuse, especially by men, stay out of courts. Even today, 1/3 of women and 1/4 of men are victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetimes*.

All in all, rule of thumb is certainly an interesting phrase, but it's not an inherently harmful one as far as I'm concerned. What's more important is knowing its history, and continuing to push for everyone to be more aware of what’s acceptable in any kind of relationship.

An unrelated, but an interesting source I found while researching this is Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions. I haven't read much of it yet, but it looks interesting.

Jul 12, 2022 - Death

Once, many, many centuries ago, when the world was still young and even the stars had yet to be hung in the sky, Life and Death made a deal. They made a deal that for every human Life made, Death would capture its soul, and add it to its collection leaving behind only its lifeless husk. You see, Life and Death were siblings, born together only moments after the universe itself. Life was gifted the power to create anything it imagined, and Death was only given the power to take it away. It was a miserable job, even with the deal in place, but time marched on.

Eons later, humans had evolved. Life watched captivated as its creations flourished and learned, and Death watched somberly as it ended people’s lives. Great rulers fell and ended their great reins, but Death watched instead as simpler people lived brightly and with great joy, dreading the end that would eventually come.

One such family caught Death’s eye as it flourished in the 21st century. A network of people connected across the globe, and they each looked out for each other. Talking about such simple things that had never mattered to it before, but now were seen in a new light.

If the first mistake was falling in love with this haven, the second mistake was entering. Death joined the chat, not even existing, just wanting to be known, and it was accepted. Welcomed, and Death wanted more. Foolishly Death knew, even as it stepped onto the Earth for the first time, it made a form. For somehow, Death had managed to create something of its own. It joined the circle of friends laughing and talking. Creating a home of its own even outside this little network it had found.

It fell in love with these people, with this place, and with this life, but eventually the time had come. The first person had to die. It was an early death and a brutal one. Death hadn’t even known them that well, and it hurt all the more. It hadn’t even gotten to know this person yet, it barely even knew they existed, and now it was too late to do anything.

Bitter, Death turned its back on the group. Flew into its duties with a new pain. It looked into the eyes of every family, friend, and loved one, and saw its loss staring back at it. This was its job, to hurt people for the sake of balance. It desperately wished it could be mortal, even if it meant death, at least it would have something to die for.

But, the worst was yet to come, a dear friend had died. Death had known them well, before it turned its back on everyone. If only it had been there they would have had more time together.

Death was distraught. It couldn’t do this to any more of its friends. Taking their lives, ending their beautiful existences, but even more than that, it couldn’t bear to keep going, knowing it was losing valuable time with them.

Death returned to its haven. Smiling with friends, even as its heart broke knowing that smile would soon fade.

But it carried on, not knowing what else to do.

Jul 8, 2022 - Press on Nails

You know, I think everyone ought to try press on nails at least once. It’s just too much fun having little sparkly bits of plastic attached to your fingers constantly reminding you of their presence. If wearing them isn’t fun then you can at least get a kick out of going with some friends to choose out the most ostentatious nails you can find and laughing as you put them on.

Plus, they do look pretty. Especially the shiny ones that cast rainbows on your keyboard, and good luck biting your nails or picking at anything with them on. You’ll be too busy making sure they don’t fall off anyways.

I can usually make mine last a few days, but I suppose they are a bit environmentally unfriendly (are they biodegradable?). If you get one of the packs with nail glue though, you can stick them back on when they fall off and reuse old ones later. Besides, is nail polish any better?

Fake nails are so easy anyways. You don’t have to figure out how to apply the nail polish and worry about coloring outside the lines. Honestly, nail artists are crazy. They’re easy to take off too, in case you don’t like it (though I doubt it).

I don’t know, I always thought of press on nails as a popular girls thing. That’s probably the biggest reason I didn’t try them sooner, but hey, I’m going to die someday anyways, I might as well enjoy this while it lasts, right? (Did I really write an opinion piece about this?)

In conclusion, eh, why not? They’re only a couple of bucks anyways.

Characters from: Rainy's Home on the Wayback Machine
Icons from: Diego Vanilla on Deviant Art
Page Dividers and Backgrounds from: Cinni's Dream House on NeoCities